Though in this life we feel as if nothing is done unless it's complete, there is no room for completion without first having whole pieces. a pie is neither made with partial pieces nor a Lego set with blistered blocks. Nothing is ever finished without first having the pieces to complete it—many of us were once broken, which is why we struggle to find ourselves. Our wounds hold the particles/fragments of our overall being in shambles, complete yet left cracking.
Healing is the one thing that takes more time than we think it should. we hide our tears, we break our personal barriers are sliding back and forth from contention to anxiety and worry. Pain always finds a way to slip into the cracks. You know when everything is mixed together and the bonds are remade only then the process of completion can be upheld.
This is not a joke when I say this but recently I've been undergoing an involuntary season of separation. Allow me to share with you everything.
in the simplest of terms, it’s nothing wild but it has been crucial for my recent growth which has become more apparent to me since it started. To be honest It had the most unlikely start. Everyone thought it was because of what happened with Lexi and how I separated myself from her but Nah, the true season started when suddenly my friend that got saved at Mike's event stopped texting me. I had no one to hang out with, and still don’t but in the midst of the realization that right now by proximity I’m alone (outside of God) I saw that he could’ve become a distraction from my growth. He already took a lot of my time, energy, and effort helping him find his way and just being there for him in his toughest time. It was worth it. but God was showing me through Dj’s rants about my season that I was the only one giving in 90% of my relationships. I was pouring so much into other people that I was neglecting myself and the growth God wanted to instill in me. It started off without me even noticing. I wrote a book and once that was done after a few sleepless nights I began to notice the distance that was beginning to form. I was tearing myself apart. I prayed a lot of sorrowful tears during this season. I was genuinely struggling because I thought I could finally start but nope. I had to reshape my mind and I still am. God knows I have a tendency to cleave to the people I hold close though the same isn’t reciprocated often. I’m prone to being used sadly enough. I have a hard time thinking about myself so it was not an easy transition but this season has brought back the energy, desire, and motivation I need to grow and move higher in God and his plan for my life. he told me one day when I was sitting just trying to hear his voice that “I have cut the stem so that you may be encouraged to grow” I didn’t realize it until now but I’ve really begun to change and be more intentional about my purpose. Yes, it hurts and hurt even when I left Lexi it hurt. but seeing how I made my friend a priority in every one of his seasons and to him I was an afterthought in all except his worst. I had/have to move on. This season has made me look in the mirror and realize that I was only waiting for my time to be free so that God can have his way. I no longer have to worry about it. God’s got it. I’m still in it but I know it’s to continue to grow stronger until I can rely on someone(s) in the future. I really am excited. this is the year I’m supposed to remember, and maybe I’m getting closer to the reason. The season of separation is by no means a bad thing unless you enter it with the wrong mindset, thank God he made me optimistic lol. I have no idea what’s next but it’ll be great!
This is my example of broken pieces being brought back together. I want to leave you with a little bit of encouragement in closing. Don't let the season meant to grow you destroy you. Choose to build those broken pieces. reconstruct those particles and come out as something entirely new. It's not over.
Season 1 "It Relies on You"
"Particles"
Emmanuel D. Wallace
be sure to check out the inspiration for this blog